Pursuit of liking your own self 

As ridiculous as it sounds, I’ve been not liking myself so much lately. You could blame it on the abundance of free time that I have or maybe there is more to it. On a recent dinner, my mum got to know that I’ve not been too comfortable with myself and her first question was, “How does one not like oneself?” Well, it is normal of her to have that quandary because, to be honest, even I don’t know where all of this begins. But, it makes me wonder if it is even a normal thing to have issues with your own self. 

Before we go ahead, I want to say, I’m not depressed. I have my moments of joy and I have lots of things to look forward to in life. But, every night (since a month) I’ve been struggling to shut the voices in my head.

Every time I think of someone or see someone on social media, I automatically put myself to believe that they are much better than me. And, it escalates to a point, that I begin to pinpoint my flaws again and again. I’m not a pessimistic person and I truly believe in the power of universe.

However, in no way, I have been able to get rid of such thoughts from hovering in my mind.

A lot of people tell me that if you do not like yourself, how do you expect people around you to like you? And, I wonder if that even makes sense or it is indeed the way this world functions.

As any other person, I google stupid questions at night and expect WikiHow to solve my everyday miseries. More often than not, I end up feeling worse. From what I understand, I don’t think there is a way for an external factor (at least not the internet) to help me with this problem. But, I must mention that social media is partially responsible for how things have shaped up in my head. 

What haunts me is the idea that such feelings begin to grow on you with time and find a way to make it a part of you. And, no. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life, thinking negatively about me because I understand that it is powerful enough to affect everything in my life.

Anxiety is a bitch and it controls pretty much everything I do. The worst part being I don’t know what exactly triggers is and how to stop myself from not liking myself.

Does talking to yourself or picturing good things about your life help? Because I have tried and it makes me feel that it saturates the whole thought altogether.

For now, I know, I’ve felt this for a long time and to accept myself eventually is a pursuit. For now, I know, I can only breathe and tell myself that things always get better. For now, I hope this pursuit eventually turns into a habit and self-acceptance grows in me like a flower in the sunshine.

Originally posted on Medium. 

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What Saves You

If you indulge in rock music and passionately detest poetry, I’ll still be proud of you. Although once in a while, I’ll take you to the backyard and teach you how to plant a seed. I want you to appreciate how beautiful it feels to have your hands colored with mud. On days when you feel you do not fit into a type, remember that you were indeed born to be free. So, do not tie your infinite soul to these nasty standards prescribed by the world we live in. Allow yourself to become much more than just a type. If someone makes you feel terrible about the person you have grown up to be, do not make them feel the same. Instead, tell yourself that you weren’t born to be that weak. Some days when life will feel too much and your hands will feel too small, come to your mom and let her bore you with a poem and spoil you with kisses. Or, spend some time with your dad and learn that nothing can ever change the science of this universe and the love that comes from your dad. If you ever feel lost my child, close your eyes and tell yourself the world is exactly what you want it to be. Open your eyes only when you are ready to see what else the world has to offer. And I must tell you that there will be nights too cold but the lap of your family.. it will always be too warm. So, don’t you ever let ego build a wall because all it does in the end is it stops you from receiving a hand. Remember to always keep your arms open to the people who love you because I swear, nothing saves you like a tight tight hug.

Puppet. 

I am trapped in this circus of beauty 

the day I become a woman version of the little girl inside me

pushed into this whirlpool of

how to be and how not to be

and mind you there’s no escape 

because you go deeper into it if you struggle to save yourself 

the girls on the magazines will 

haunt me forever 

and for some reason will always be too powerful. 

but when there’s makeup on my face 

it is always a little too much 

enough for them to assume my real self is U-G-L-Y

oh who knows, maybe? 

but what a shame you are wasting your time wondering about the face that lies beneath 

these standards of perfection that you are also responsible for

I understand feminism, he says with a faint smile

now I am free to abuse you just 

like my male friends 

oh what a privilege my friend 

but sad how that’s the first thing that pops in your mind when someone talks about equality 

however now the girl I ought to be is the delicate one

delicate enough for their fists to crush me in no time

I should have bigger eyes so they can place deceit in them, when I am busy dreaming of a safer world 

my wrists should be tiny, 

weak like a thread

so they can tie me to their ill version of patriarchy and stop me from going places

it is just a meme babe

I know how to respect the women in my life

do not take that damn joke seriously 

and let your self esteem dissolve in the laughter that follows

this time I let out a soft giggle

but my heart refuses to believe 

we live in a world that has learnt

how to balance the both of us

and even if we do,

why is it that every time I have an opinion 

everybody leaves the room with

their eyebrows pulled up? 

you leave

and I stretch my arms to create a pinpoint of my existence in this universe 

but a shrill voice inside me tells me I’m asking for a lot of space

now where do I go, 

I’m also a puppet in the game.

Guilty as charged 

it took me exactly three years 24 days to get over what you said and five nights 

to forget a joke everyone just laughed about.

it wasn’t about me they said repeatedly 

but I still allowed

my mind to build a house around it to make my visits regular.

take it easy man, 

their voices echo

and I look at them like they

speak of a science I have never learnt about. 

you ask me

where the problem lies

and a finger of mine will turn to myself even when I’m asleep.
I do not know when 

not to say sorry because I use it for everything I do. 

there’s traffic

I’m sorry

there’s rain

I’m sorry

there’s no music

I’m sorry

there’s nothing 

I’m sorry 

I’m sorry 

I’m sorry 

I breathe. 

now I’m carving it in my nerves because that is how apologetic I am now and will always be. 

on most nights, 

the voice in my head is my only enemy because it only tells me the things I want to forget about. 

again and again. 

every second. every day. 

you’re not enough 

you’re not enough 

you are not enough. 

shut it. I know. 

it is absurd. ridiculous. almost nonsensical how badly I want to mute every thing in my head. 

but believe me I’ve tried. I’ve tried to release my heart from the claws of self-resent but the bar hasn’t moved an inch yet. 

also tell me, if it is possible 

to survive when you’re guilty as charged

but also the victim?


Image courtesy to the owner.

Communicating on LinkedIn

LinkedIn has been a great platform for me to communicate and connect with professionals. I’ve interacted with quite a few people to realize that it is all about communicating in the correct way.

I get a lot of messages here. Many times, I don’t understand how to reply because the message received serves no purpose.
It makes me wonder about the number of opportunities a professional can miss if they do not communicate well.

Hence, here are a few things you must keep in mind the next time you communicate on LinkedIn.

1. Introduce Yourself 

It has to be the most obvious thing to do. When you meet someone in a professional setting or even otherwise, the first thing you must do is introduce yourself. Sending a random Hi or What’s up isn’t going to get you started with a conversation. At least not on LinkedIn. And, even if it does, it shows a lack of professionalism.

2. The Purpose Of Your Message

After you are done introducing yourself, explain in brief the reason why you messaged the person in the first place. A lot of people get tons of messages in their inboxes but they might just avoid them. When you put your purpose in the message, it gives the receiver an idea of what exactly you are looking forward to.

3. Do Not Ask For Whatsapp Number (Unless Required!) 

If you’re looking for new individuals to just chat with, LinkedIn is clearly not the place. When you ask someone their number, especially when the conversation has just started, you might end up giving a wrong impression. And, honestly, I feel most of the work can be discussed on LinkedIn or could be shared on email. You should be sharing numbers only when it is absolutely essential.

4. No SMS language 

Grammar isn’t everyone’s game but typing normally isn’t that difficult. Is it? Do not message someone like you are sending them a text message limited by a definite number of characters. Writing ‘U’ instead of ‘YOU’, or ‘NYC’ instead of ‘Nice’ gives a bad impression. Moreover, it could become the sole reason why someone might not want to respond to you at all.


5. Be Courteous and Patient

Some people do not check their LinkedIn messages everyday. They could be just going through them once or twice a week. If you have sent a message and the person does not reply immediately, do not simply jump to a conclusion and ask them to respond ASAP. Be patient and wait for their reply. If they take a while (say a few days or weeks) politely ask them to acknowledge your message.
That’s about it! Let’s be a little more cautious while communicating in a professional space.
Hope these tips helped!

Dear Younger Self

Dear younger self,

If I had to protect you from everything that is going to come your way, I would be logical with you. I would tell you not to go around trusting everyone who smiles at you and the world isn’t always a merryland. But, life isn’t a game and there is no winner. So, what’s the point of having a plan?

Instead, this is what I want you to know.

You are going to meet a lot of people in your way, and chances are, you’ll like all of them. And, it’s okay. I’m not telling you none of them aren’t worth the heart you put into them. I’m just giving a subtle warning that they might not offer you the same things in return. You’ll wish the world for them but they might not think of you even in their good times. It’s okay. You’ll be fine, irrespective.

You have a strange picture of the world in your head. You believe things are just that way. Maybe, they are. Who knows? A belief is a safe harbor and you’re lucky to have one. But, hey, if life takes a left instead of taking the right, do not panic. Sit back. Relax. You are going to be where you’re supposed to be.

You’re going to invest in the wrong places at the wrong time. Sometimes, even the wrong people. And, don’t be afraid of it. You are going to do it anyway and you must. Too many wrongs will teach you a solid right. You’ll learn things that’ll be exclusively meant for you.

You go to sleep with certain scenarios in your head. Some so ridiculous and sweet that they make you cry. Are they going to happen? I won’t tell you. But, here’s what you should know instead. Life is capable of going beyond your imagination and there is a possibility that it’ll give you a lot more than you’ll ask.

Love? It will come to you. Probably, not in the way you must have pictured it to.

There are also chances, that you’ll be fooled. Everything will feel so right that you’ll say – this is it. And, you might be mistaken. That will be an experience and it’ll teach you how to protect yourself.

And, love will be there. At your door. Chances are it’ll not be so obvious. Chances are you’ll not want to open the door because your belief will be cracked. But, listen to me. Open the door.

Always be crazy. Never foolish.

How To Get Noticed On Twitter 

To be honest, I have a love and hate relationship with Twitter for ages now. But, it indicates that I still keep going back to it. Twitter is a great place to find out what’s up with the world and also an ideal platform to make new connections.

There are more than 320 million people (last time I checked) on Twitter, so it shouldn’t be difficult to gain followers. Right? Unfortunately, it is.

One of the hardest things to do on Twitter is to get started. Some people struggle for ages to go beyond 100 followers while some make the jump in no time.

So, what is the first lot doing wrong? Well, if you want to gain more followers, you must get noticed. And, no I am not asking you to do publicity stunts for the sake of it. Just some simple social media knowledge can get you a handful of followers.
1. It all begins with your bio 

You might have a quirky handle (twitter username) but an empty or a poorly done bio can mess up the game. Tell people what you really do and keep immature stuff away if you want to show people you are on Twitter for real business.

2. Hashtags

You could be cringing when your friends use hashtags on social media but chances are they are doing it better than you. Using a hashtag in a tweet increases your chances of getting noticed. But, mind you, do not go overboard. Just one or two hashtags (relevant ones, obviously) are good.

3. Interact with like-minded users

Twitter is also about interacting with the right people and Twitter’s search tools make it way easier. Engage in a conversation that is about your interests or just see what people are talking about. It’s that simple.

4. Engage with brands

A lot of brands out there on Twitter look forward to connecting with the users. Mention a brand in your tweet. If you’re lucky, you might get a retweet. More views, more chances of new followers.

5. Follow the right tweeters

It’s like give and take for some. You follow them, they follow you back. But, wait, sometimes you get more than that. There have been times when I followed a new account and three similar users followed me back. Strange how Twitter works. But, let’s be grateful for it for now.

Well, that’s about it for now. Get tweeting and discover the world of Twitter. Good luck!