“Nelson, I don’t remember the last time she enjoyed rain. I don’t see her making herself a cup of coffee to keep herself up for the entire night. She doesn’t match her nails to her shoes anymore. She doesn’t buy balloons and tie them to our neighbour’s bicycle. She watches tv for hours and doesn’t cry seeing someone die on screen. I can’t recollect the last time she asked me to pose for a picture. I miss her giggling. She goes to her room just after dinner and doesn’t make a sound at all. I knock her door and she just says, “Sleep, I am sleeping in ten.” But, the room lights are on. She doesn’t get excited when I make cookies. She doesn’t get angry at me when I don’t tell her a story. She is okay about almost everything. And that scares me. I want her to do what she wants, and not just silently settle down for things. I want her to be what she was, and not turn into someone so dull. Nelson, I know, you are too busy to do something. But, if at all, please come back home. She misses her daddy, and honestly I miss you too.”
Remember the times when we went for a drive? You took me to this beautiful lake. You told me about your childhood and your family. You even cried when you spoke about your dad and told me that you missed him badly.
The day when you wrote a poem for me. I still have the paper with me. Though the ink on it has faded away, your words are still there in my heart.
Every time, I catch myself smiling, I know it’s you.
times when I can’t fall asleep at night,
cause my heart still craves to talk to you,
it’s you who’s responsible for all the midnight diary notes
I believe you have no clue about what happens to my heart
every time you are next to me
and for some reason
I won’t ever let you know
cause it’s beautiful to see you unaware
in your own world, clueless
about how badly I want to be with you
I picture both of us together
holding each other
whispering things we would never say in reality
it’s so exciting that it almost feels real
and every time, I think of you
I swear a million times,
my heart races like never before
you’re a ocean, there’s so much I want to know
I want to fall, swim, find myself in you
You look the best when you laugh
when you throw your head back
and close your eyes
I watch you, I watch you, and fall in love.
Until, you don’t leave her with a choice.
Maybe, I lost her gradually. Day by day.
You lose a woman when you forget to appreciate how beautiful she makes your life by just being in it.
Maybe, I lost her when I forgot to say sorry when it was my mistake. Maybe, I lost her when I knew she was crying and I did not give a damn.
Maybe, I lost her when she told me that she wanted to be alone, and I left her alone.
Maybe, I lost her when I didn’t hold her hand while we were crossing the road.
Maybe, I lost her when I didn’t tell her how adorable she looked when she smiled.
Maybe, I lost her when she called me three times in the morning and I texted her ‘Talk to you later.’
Maybe, I lost her when I didn’t laugh on her silly joke. Maybe, I lost her when I stopped taking her out for movies.
Maybe, I lost her when she didn’t sleep the entire night because I called her a mistake.
Maybe, I lost her when she said, ‘I love you’ and I said nothing at all.
Maybe, I lost her because I was too busy being what I am.
Maybe, I lost her because she was too beautiful for someone like me.