A moment.

It’s raining and I am sitting next to the window thinking about you. Remember the first time you said, “I love you” and how I thought you were kidding. You said it again, and we looked at each other and did not utter a word. It was drizzling. You kept looking at me, and I smiled. You came closer to me, and kissed my lips. I still remember how everything froze for that moment. Now, every time it drizzles, it reminds me of you and our first kiss. It reminds me of your face, of your eyes, particularly. I always thought they were hiding something. Remember, when I told you this, you burst out laughing and hugged me. Life was a different journey  with you, a journey in the sky, with stars on both the sides, twinkling. Remember the first time, we danced in your room. It was a Friday. You were tired after your game of basketball and I was in a grumpy mood. But, our favourite song was playing and you got out of your bed and made me dance with you. You were a bad dancer, but such a great charmer. You missed the beats, but never did you miss a chance to make me smile. The first time we got rid of our layers. One kiss lead to another. We couldn’t get our hands off each other. You kissed my shoulders the most. You said they were the sexiest curves I had. I giggled. You kissed them even more. How we were in bed, talking about each other. You even told me about your greatest fear and cried. I remember I felt, “This is it. He is the one” and I cried too. It was such a complete moment. In fact, the entire time I have had with you, was a complete moment. But, I guess I failed to realize, moments are not forever. They end.

And now I am sitting here, listening to our favourite song, wondering about how life would be, if you were really kidding about it. And you know what? Sometimes, I really wish you were kidding.


If you were a song, you would be the one I keep going back to
If you were a book, you would be the one I’ve read the most
If you were a window, you would be one I never open but always look at
If you were a bedsheet, you would be the one I sleep in when I’m lonely
If you were a pen, you would be the one I would never want to write with
If you were a movie, you would be the one I would never get bored of
If you were a door, you would be the one I would never need a key for
If you were a day, you would be the one before my birthday
If you were a date, you would be the one that would be always be marked on a calendar
If you were a guitar, you would be the one I would never allow someone to play
If you were a chair, you would be the one I felt most comfortable on
If you were a place, you would be the one I would visit for no reason at all
If you were mine, you would be the only one. 

Your type.

She is the one who wouldn’t sleep until you do. She is the one who would giggle on all your jokes. She is the one who will smile when you’ll look at her. She is the one who sings without knowing the lyrics. She is the one who who enjoys honest conversations. She is the one who’ll remember every detail about you. She is the one who gets fascinated by stars and galaxies. She is the one who believes in your dream. She is the one who isn’t too bothered about her hair. She is the one who laughs at herself. She is the one who is chirpy and kind. She is the one who doesn’t understand chemistry but loves physics. She is the one who forgives. The one who is always late but the last one to leave. The one who is always in a group, but still seeking a friend. The one who is moody, but the one who’ll never let you go. The one who’ll say sorry, even when it’s not my mistake. The one who is ambitious, but never too greedy. The one who wants to gift, but never expects something in return. The one who enjoys solitude, but hates having no one to talk to on a gloomy rainy day. The one who’ll read a book for months, but will still enjoy every paragraph. The one who’ll become upset seeing someone cry. The one who will dance, even if it’s not on the beat. The one who remembers your birthday, without calendars and facebook. The one who wouldn’t mind the ice cream melting, if the conversation is too interesting. The one who loves flowers, and hates arrogance. The one who can recognize someone by their perfume. The one who will listen to your story, even if it’s the fifth time you’re narrating it. The one who’ll always call you if you sound low on texts. The one who will play with kids for hours and will forget about homework. The one who’ll always give you chances to correct yourself.
She is the one who is maybe, of no type at all.

You’re power.

Don’t give up, I don’t want you to
You are strong, you can make it through
Find your strength, keep your head high
There is nobody to stop you, no goodbye
Let them speak what they want
Let them insult, and let them taunt
You’re different, you’re one of a kind
They don’t understand you or your mind
Get up, get up for yourself and fight
They’re strong on the outside
Weak inside
You’re strong
You’re fearless
You’re power
They will try to push you to the ground
They will make your world turn upside down
But hold on, you’ve to pass this test
Let them make noise, you’ll put them to rest
Don’t let their words shrink you, never be afraid
Sorrow is for everyone, but don’t pick up the blade
You gotta push yourself, and cross your limit
It might get harder but you’ve to keep up your spirit
It’s time you shake the ground with your rage
Freedom is what you aspire, get out of your cage
There is harm in being quiet and suffer
thunder makes people shiver and shudder
Don’t give up, I don’t want you to be afraid
Raise your voice, things will definitely get better
You’re strong, you’re fearless, you’re the most powerful power.

The sky cries.

every night, darling, the sky cries
the sky watches you unravel, unwind,
unfold yourself on the bedsheet
you’re tired, your eyes are dull
you’re crying for some reason
you’re still to know about
the sky watches you weep
tears falling down, on your soft pillow
before you sleep
why are you so exhausted darling
the sky wonders
what are you seeking from this life
you’re unsatisfied and hungry
and maybe that makes you what you’re
you’re searching for passion, a fire
that will lighten the darkness in your heart
your soul, it knows nothing
just love, and it waits for it
you lay there, silently
with your layers down
naked and raw, no masks
nothing to hide
you ask for more,
more love
more passion
more joy
oh you hungry little soul
every night darling, the sky cries till you sleep.


“Leave her alone, I said!” mom screamed when he pulled Piroo.
Piroo was crying.
“Dare if you take her back from me this time, Rubita. I dare you.” he shouted and shut the door. Mom stood there without saying a word. I was very scared. I kept looking at her face as tears ran down my cheek. Nana hugged me and told me to go to bed.
All night, I couldn’t sleep because I missed Piroo.
Dugwan uncle was dad’s cousin. We used to call him Duggu affectionately. He used to visit us on weekends and would get us gifts, chocolates and clothes. It was fun when Duggu was around. I used to look forward to weekends, because he would take us to park and give us ice cream. He used to tell us stories about dad and his childhood. He was so descriptive, it used to feel like it’s happening right in front of my eyes. After dad passed away, Duggu started visiting us often. He was our emotional support.
Once, on a Sunday evening, when he came home, he brought a lot of gifts for Piroo for no reason. Piroo was only four. I was seven.
“Duggu, her birthday is still a month away. Don’t you know?” mom asked.
“Rubita, Piroo is like a fairy. Keep her happy, and see how your fortune shines!” Duggu laughed.
Mom just smiled looking at him. Then, she looked at me and smiled wider. Piroo was busy playing with the new dolls. I was sitting in Nana’s lap.
Nana kissed my head and said, “You’re nothing less.”
It was very weird to see him do all this. He used to behave like our dad sometimes. Piroo meant the world to him. He used to pamper her so much. One day, I heard mom talking to Nana about Duggu and his behaviour with Piroo.
“But, all I am saying is, if he wants to become a part of the family, he should do the same for Sukhi also. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind.” mom said.
“You should talk to him. Tell him you don’t like this behaviour. Tell him to stop doing all this.” said Nana.
Later when mom spoke to Duggu about it, he started crying.
“I am disappointed Rubita. Piroo and Sukhi are like my daughters. Piroo is the younger one, I feel like pampering her, hence I do. What is wrong with you?”
“I get it Duggu, but there should be some limit to all this. I don’t want you to spoil her like this. Enough now.” Mom said calmly.
Duggu got up and left and didn’t show up for a month. Mom called him a lot of times, but he never answered.
Mom was expecting him to come home on Piroo’s birthday. I was hoping he didn’t.
But, he did.
“Duggu, what is this? Again so many gifts?” mom asked.
“Rubita let it be. It’s her birthday. I have a good reason to pamper her. And oh, Sukhi jaan, the other bag has few chocolates for you too.” He smiled.
I nodded.
Duggu stayed at our house that night and celebrated Piroo’s birthday. After we were done cutting the cake, he asked mom if he could take Piroo home for a week. Mom didn’t want him to take her along.
“You stay here for a day or two. Piroo won’t stay without Nana, Duggu. She is used to her.” Mom said.
“Don’t worry. Mona is there at home. She will take good care of Piroo. She won’t miss you all a bit.” Duggu said.
Before mom said anything, Duggu said,
“Mona will be so happy to see Piroo. She will spoil her, I am sure.” He laughed.
Mom smiled and said, “Fine. But, just a week. Give my regards to Mona.”
I was getting a really bad feeling. It wasn’t seeming fine. I knew something bad was going to happen soon. That week went really slow. We all missed Piroo. We would call Duggu all the time to ask about Piroo. Times when Mona or Duggu didn’t answer, I would get very scared. That week passed and Duggu said that he will get her back in a day or two, and he didn’t. He didn’t even take mom’s calls. Mom decided to go to his house and get Piroo back.
When mom came home, she was very angry. Piroo was asleep in mom’s arms. Mom took her to the room, and made her bed.
I was drawing sitting on the floor in the living room, so I could hear the conversation between Nana and mom.
“He has lost it! He wasn’t ready to let her go. I am not letting him step in this house ever again!” exclaimed mom.
“What was he saying Rubi?”
“He is an insane man. He started to state that Piroo is his daughter, and that I am not her mother.”
“Oh, my god! What else did he say?”
“He said I am going to regret what I did. I don’t want him to come here again. He is insane. Mona also didn’t say anything. I think he has… Sukhi go in your room.” mom broke down.
Mom didn’t want me to know what happened, but somehow, I knew, it was something I wouldn’t want to know.
After Duggu took her away like this again, mom was very scared, and so was I. We called the police and Duggu was put in jail.
But after Piroo came home, she stopped talking to anyone. Every time, someone went near her, or tried to cheer her up, all she said was,

“Don’t tickle me.”